I am a German-born minister, founder, and self-described devotee of the God of Reality—the God of grace, integration, and wholeness. My journey has taken me through profound transformations of faith, identity, trauma, and wholeness.

I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian family and evolved through many phases: a punk Jesus Freak, a hippie Christian anarchist and seminary valedictorian, a traveling minister performing medieval Christian music, and eventually stepping away from institutional Christianity while retaining a deep connection to Jesus and grace.

In my next chapter, I immersed myself in the Pagan, sex-positive, and personal development worlds of the West Coast. I founded two intentional communities: an urban sex-positive Pagan community in the Bay Area and a rural permaculture community outside Portland, Oregon. A traumatic relationship in the land-based community—with a partner experiencing multiple personalities—shattered my psyche, but it also granted me deep insights into the fragmented nature of the human soul, empathy manipulation, and how parts of the self work.

In 2018, at an intense spiritual-sexual retreat in Peru, I endured severe psychological challenges yet achieved what most would describe as enlightenment—an integration of all parts of myself in connection to God/Source/Jesus.

That integration invited intense suffering, including further abuse, betrayal, dissociation-like symptoms, and social cancellation for questioning cultural norms in progressive circles, ending with my partner with multiple personalities leaving me.

I began a season of deep healing supported by faithful companions (including my cats Birk and Ronja and my partner Mead). On Winter Solstice 2020, I recommitted to Jesus—not the institutional version, but the real presence of grace—and became fully whole again.

In 2022, drawn by a call to re-engage with life, I embarked on a solo cross-country road trip, culminating in meeting my future husband Aaron at a retreat in North Carolina. We soon became partners, and I have since endured a challenging relationship marked by Aaron’s struggles with fear, control, and entitlement—yet I have remained, seeing the overall trend towards mutual growth and wholeness.

I am the originator of “polynousism,” a worldview that recognizes the human psyche as composed of multiple parts, some aligned with grace and others not. I plan to write and create content as “The Polynousist,” offering spiritual and cultural commentary through this lens.